


Fox and Hound Go Down a Hill

by rosecampion



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Bad Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-09-02
Updated: 2002-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11348601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecampion/pseuds/rosecampion
Summary: Another story in my "My First Slash Reader" series, a slashy tribute to some of my favorite children's stories. Mulder and Doggett play some winter games.





	Fox and Hound Go Down a Hill

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Fox and Hound Go Down a Hill

## Fox and Hound Go Down a Hill

#### by Rose Campion

Fox And Hound Go Down the Hill (a my first slash reader story) 

Warning: Bad fic, or humor or something like that. This is one of my slashy salutes to some of my favorite children's books. 

Disclaimer: Both the X-files characters and the Frog and Toad books by Arnold Lobel are creations of and belong to other people. Only a sick puppy would think to put them together. But really, I mean this as sincerest tribute to both of them. I didn't make a dime. Really. Doing this out of love. 

Rating: PG. Maybe PG-13 for a few bad words 

Archiving: The basement. Slashing Mulder. I suppose, it could even count as a bit of light-hearted DoggettTorture. 

Pairing: Fox and John 

Summary: Fox gets excited. John gets frosty. 

Fox knocked at John's door, excited because overnight lots of snow had fallen, covering the District of Columbia in frosty white goodness and nearly causing the city to come to a complete halt, giving Fox a good excuse to play hookey from alien hunting. He knocked again and when no one answered, he got out his handy lockpick set. Perhaps it was not such good manners to pick the lock on his boyfriend's door, but Fox was sort of exciteable like that. Once inside, he tracked his boyfriend down to a lump in the middle of a big, manly looking bed. 

"John, wake up!" Fox cried. "Come out and see how great the snow is." 

"Get outta here!" said John. "Some of us are tryin' to sleep. I'm playin' hookey from work and damn if I'm not sleeping in. It's warm in here. I hate the winter." 

John launched the nearest convenient object at Fox's head with all the force he could muster. Fortunately, this was just a pillow, so it bounced harmlessly off of Fox. When John realized that he would run out of ammunition rather quickly, he beat a quick retreat instead, burying his head under the remaining pillows. 

Fox just laughed. "Winter's great!" Fox said. "Let's go outside and play." 

"I think we should stay inside and play. I got a new game you might like," John said, peeking out from his pillows to wink at Fox. "It's called Federal Agent and fugitive. You like the sound of that?" 

Of course Fox liked those kinds of games. But he could play them with John any day. The snow only fell this heavily once a year. It would probably melt by tomorrow. This was a once in a year chance. 

"We'll play those games after we go out and play outside," Fox promised. Fox was not above begging to get what he wanted and he did it now. "Please, John!" 

Some muffled sound emerged from under the pillows. 

"I'll take that as a yes!" Fox said, excitedly. 

"I don't have winter clothes," John said, thinking up any excuse he could to get out of this. He did, actually, hid in the back of his closet. Of course he did. He'd gone to college in New York and worked there for years. He just hated winter. He hated being cold. He hated driving in the snow. He'd been glad to move to DC. He was a Southern boy at heart. He certainly wasn't going to spend his day off hard work as a Federal Agent to go get frostbitten. There were scary monsters and international conspiracies to track down. But not today. Today he was going to sleep in with the phone off the hook. 

"That's okay. I brought some extras of mine," Fox said. He went back into the hallway and brought in the pile of things he'd dropped there. He dragged John out of bed and started getting him dressed. He pulled long underwear right over the shorts John had worn to bed. He pulled wool pants over those. He put a flannel shirt on John. Then he pushed John's arms down the sleeves of a winter coat. Finally, he tugged a stocking cap over John's head. 

"Help!" cried John. "My boyfriend is trying to kill me!" 

"Stop it. I'm just getting you ready to go out. Quit complaining. We'll have a great time. I promise." 

Fox and John went outside. They went to a big park with lots of hills. Fox produced a toboggan from somewhere. From where, I don't know. Hey, this is story. He can do whatever I want. 

"We're going to ride down this big hill on my toboggan." 

"Uh-uh, not me. No way." 

"Chicken!" 

"Don't give me that BS. I'm not a dumbass unlike a certain someone I can think of." 

"Brawk! Brawk! Brawk!" Fox said. And so he talked John into the toboggan ride. 

"I'll be right here with you. It'll be a great, fast ride. You'll thank me when its over. You go up front, I'll take the back." 

The toboggan began to slid down the hill. 

"Here we go!" said Fox. 

They hit a bump and Fox fell off the sled. John rushed past trees and rocks. 

"Boy, I'm glad you're here," said John. He did not notice that Fox was gone. 

John leaped over a big snowbank. 

"I don't think I could steer the sled without you, Fox," John said. "Maybe you're right. Maybe winter ain't so bad." 

He passed his friend Monica, who had much the same idea as Fox. She was headed down the hill on an innertube, singing her impressions of whale songs as she went. 

"Hey, Monica!" shouted John. "Look at Fox and me. Can you believe it?" 

"But John, you're alone on the sled," said Monica 

John looked around. He finally saw that Fox was not there. 

"Shit!" screamed John. 

Bang! The sled hit a tree. 

Thud! The sled hit a rock. 

Plop! The sled dived into the snow. 

Fox came running down the hill. He pulled John out of the giant snowbank. It had been soft and John wasn't hurt. Except his dignity. Federal Agents do not plow headfirst into snowbanks and get snow up the back of their necks. Surely J. Edgar Hoover would have had something to say about that. It was really cold. It reminded John exactly why he hated the winter. 

"I saw it all. I wish I had a camcorder. I'd send it in to that Dumbass show on the TV. You did great. And by yourself too!" 

"Bullshit," said John. "But I can think of one thing that I can do all by myself." 

"What is that?" asked Fox, not liking the fact the ice all around them had crept into John's voice. Yes, John sounded distinctly frosty. It looked like maybe they wouldn't be playing "Federal Agent and Fugitive" later after all, which made Fox very sad. 

"I can go home. Maybe winter ain't bad. But bed is much better." 

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Rose Campion 


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